'i'm a stinker'

i taught reese that phrase today.

because, well, the little turd-ette is acting as if she's turned into the spawn of godzilla himself. a cute little godzilla, but oh. my. heck. the tantrum two's have hit, and we're not even two yet.  and then i just make things worse because there's nothing to do but laugh, and that makes the turd-ette angry. VERY angry.  don't mess with the munchkin.

in other news, i finally made it back to the doctor's, and hurray! there's still a heartbeat. with all of the moving and finding a new doctor and everything, i hadn't been in since 11 weeks.  and i'm over 17 weeks right now. oops.  poor looked over 2nd pregnancy. with reese's pregnancy, because of some complications i had already had 5 ultrasounds by the time i was 12 weeks. i was researching weekly exactly how big the fetus was, what new developments were happening, and what changes to expect in my own body.  i think this time around, i've checked maybe twice.

with all of the moving and packing and changing i feel like i haven't really been able to process the fact that I AM PREGNANT.  like, there's a BABY coming somewhere in the future.  all of this sickness has in fact, been for a reason, and is not just some terminal forever state of being.  thank goodness. oh yeah, and that odd sensation i've been getting for the last week or so? ummm, yes.  there's a LIVE something in there MOVING. it still kind of weirds me out.

i hadn't been able to process it, that is, until yesterday. i was sitting there on the patient table as the nurse was going through a new patient/pregnancy kit they give to all expecting mom's.  part of the kit included pre-registration forms for the hospital.  

the hospital. 

the smelly place full of needles and doctors and nurses and pitocin and epidurals and pushing and life changing things.

and then at the end you get a baby.  holy freakin' smokes, the hospital.

and then i felt the same anxiety i felt when we drove up to the hospital to deliver reese.  there's no turning back. the only way this thing's coming out is through me.

this is really happening.

and then i drove home from my appointment. and then i thought about little fingers and toes and snuggles and smells and newness. i was so excited to get to do it all again.

and then i remembered, that yes. i have actually delivered a baby before and it was awesome.  seriously.

i am having a baby.

so last night as we were lying in bed, i broke the news to deek. "ummm, we're having a BABY!!!" and  then i told him about my mini panic attack and subsequent realization from earlier in the day. and then he laughed and said he had had the exact same experience a couple hours before going through that same kit the nurse had given me.  darn kit.  we congratulated ourselves for finally, almost half way through the pregnancy, realizing that we're becoming a family of 4.

so there you have it.

to prove it even more so, here's a belly shot taken today at 17 1/2 weeks.

i feel like it's growing by the nano second.  and for comparison, here's me during reese's pregnancy at 17 1/2 weeks:

my, how things have changed. and maybe i should cut bangs again? that would probably spice up the pony tail.

also, to prove that i do actually love the turd-ette and that she can be quite the angel.  this is us in Photobooth.  reese requested that she "kees mommy peechure". sigh. so cute. yes, how i love my reese.