introducing......

.....a 39 1/2 week pregnant lady.

(this is me today)

Yup. Still here. Did I trick you? I'm afraid the only new face around these parts is that of the Caramel Apple Sticky Buns I made this morning. I found the recipe here. Wow. I love the Pioneer Woman. Some days she inspires me to cook with nothing but butter, sugar, and cream. All the other days I just inspire myself to do the same. But that's totally off the subject at hand. So, yes. 5 days to go until the big due date. I find it hard to believe that it's already here. Isn't the last month supposed to majorly drag? Wasn't this supposed to be "the longest, hardest, hottest summer of your entire existence!!!!"? I feel like it's actually been one of the quickest parts of the entire pregnancy. As the timer runs out I find myself filled with such a wide range of feelings, each one capable of gorging my emotion capacity to the brim. It's a little schizophrenic at times. Among the many emotions, I feel:

ecstatic
We've been anxiously waiting for this little one long before I was pregnant this time around. Ecstatic would be putting it mildly. I can't wait to see her little fingers, toes, and face. Will she have hair? Will my wish of having a super snuggly baby come true? Will she be a spittin' image of her dad? Will she recognize my voice? Ahhh!!! I get so excited just thinking about her.

nervous
Words like epidural, IV, epesiotomy, cracked and bleeding..... Well, you get the idea. I've never been a fan of being poked and prodded. I have a feeling this experience is going to majorly test my medical wussiness limit. Deke has no idea what he's in for.

prepared
Thanks to my amazing mom, my house is looking pretty spotless. She came over and helped scrub walls, windows, floors, and bathrooms. Baby clothes are washed and put away and most of the closets are organized. It feels so refreshing! I would be understating it if I said I thrive in a clean and organized living space. Just ask Deke what happens if clutter starts to stack up...

not so prepared
Really, truly, is there any way to possibly prepare yourself to become a parent? I'm not naive enough to think that there is. I know I have no idea what in hellsbells I'm getting myself into. I'm one that likes to prepare as much as possible in advance for an upcoming change, but this time around there's nothing I can do but sit back and smile. But you know what? I've never been more ok with that than right now.

nostalgic
It's been just me and Deke for 4 years. That's a long time in Mormon Standard Time to be married without any kids. We've kind of been our own little team, and I'm a little sad to see that era end. I know it only gets better, but I will always, always treasure these years we've been just us. While we've been a childless couple a little longer than we had planned, it's turned out to be such a beautiful gift. I wouldn't have it any other way.

lucky
Somehow, I must have unknowingly stood in the "easy 3rd trimester" line in heaven. Seriously, I feel incredibly lucky. You have know idea how many people told me the whole "worst summer of your life" (see paragraph 1) shpeel. With only a few days to go I'm still feeling absolutely fantastic. I haven't really had any major swelling, stretch marks (knock on wood), discomfort, or insomnia. In fact, I feel exhausted by the end of the day and collapse into bed and sleep like a rock the whole night (besides the nightly 4AM trips to the lou). I think I'm in for a major wake up call here in a few days when sleep may be a little harder to come by. The worst ailments I've had has been a little lower back pain, fatigue, and heart burn. I'd take those hands down any day though over the incessant nausea of the first 3 months. I'm sure it's helped that I work in an air conditioned office and it's been a pretty mild summer. Anyway, I'm feelin' good.


love
For my soon to be little girl, for a loving Heavenly Father, and for an incredible husband. While it's been so fun to get all the itsy bitsy clothes, design the crib bedding and nursery, and pick out all the other miniature fluff that goes a long with having a baby, the very best part of it all has been to watch Deke. If possible, my love for him has grown a hundred fold during this pregnancy. He's already taken such pride in being a dad and all that it entails. I love that he's gone to every appointment except for 1 with me by his own choice. I love that he hand wrote a list of what to pack in my hospital bag complete with a checklist for mom, dad, and baby. I love that he went to child birth classes with me and would actually participate and ask questions. I love walking into the baby's room and seeing him rocking in the glider imagining all the different ways he could deck out his little girl's pad. I love that he reads all the the baby and pregnancy magazines I get cover to cover. The list of little somethings he's done or does could go on forever. I love that my husband is going to be the greatest dad in the world. I love that I get to have him as my teammate in the crazy ride of parenthood. He's totally going to be the "fun" parent.

Here's to the Harbies becoming a family of 3!! (finally)...